Volunteering

I first experienced the Pathway Project four years ago when trying to get some refuge for a family member in need. I was in awe of their care, compassion and efficiency; how at ease they made me feel, how helpful the team were, and how effortlessly they handled our distress. Shortly after I approached Pathway with a burning desire to help; armed with a fair few years of care experience, and an (even longer) personal history of domestic abuse. I began my journey learning the ropes: administration, fundraising and working on the helpline. Each year I set myself a physical challenge to raise funds- at this point, I simply have to say that the ten-hour cycle I completed is something I’m happy to have only ever had to do once (and I have never looked at a bicycle in the same way since). However, we find ourselves in a time where funding is stripped to the bone, and we are ever increasingly reliant on volunteers and fundraising than ever before. The physical aches and pains are a small and worthy price to pay to contribute to the continuation of our support services and groups- as they are vital to recovery in our aim to turn survivors into thrivers. It is also very motivating to have something so worthwhile to train for and have found friends joining me or helping to raise awareness- the sense of community and accomplishment this brings makes fundraising a gift in itself.

During this time I embarked on re-entering education to study history, sociology, psychology and counselling. My existing skills at Pathway in addition to the new insights of my education allowed me to be able to develop further within the charity. I began by assisting our counsellors with their notes and co-creating new ‘tools’ to help survivors tell their stories in preparation for their upcoming court cases. These stories moved me to the core and would ultimately shape my academic interests in the area of complex trauma and domestic abuse. During the past year, I have been honoured to have been given the opportunity to develop and run my own support group: a seven-week therapeutic art programme dedicated to exploring thoughts, feelings and emotions surrounding abuse in a safe and non-judgmental space. It is important to note that you do not need any previous art experience and I work very mindfully to remove a sense of art anxiety with good humour- stick men are more than welcome and just as glorious as the finest oil painting. It is not how it looks, it is the meaning that matters. It is difficult to find sufficient enough words that truly convey the power of this artwork and the profound beauty and sorrow interwoven in its meaning. I find myself in weekly awe at the courage and empathy displayed in the group, and feel truly humbled to use my own recovery to promote self-compassion and provide (as one service user put it) “a place to simply be allowed to feel”.

The group also allows many opportunities for psychoeducation and we cover a broad range of topics related to abuse, such as (but not limited to): rumination, the inner critic, compassion, narcissism, empaths (and the bond between them) and how the brain responds and develops to trauma. My experience is that discussing these topics gives rise to that ‘lightbulb moment’ whereby we can begin to understand and normalise why we think, feel and behave in the ways we do, but importantly: that they can change, but make no mistake this is no easy task or linear path. The take-home message of the group is despite the abuse you have suffered, and continue to suffer, you are just as worthy as the next person- you have the power within yourself to be the master of your own experience. Posing the questions, how do you feel? What do you want? How may you begin to think of yourself with compassion? Finally, what do you need moving forward? This final element is important as it allows our service users to access different support from us, such as counselling, peer support and our other support groups which center around self-help, education and mindfulness. I am thrilled to say that a lot of the members of the group go on to access additional support and continue to use art as part of their growing toolkit. I’m equally as excited to announce that we are looking to expand and also provide a monthly open group for all previous group members to continue to create their art and share what they have created since and between groups.

In addition, I am proud to be able to use this insight and knowledge to teach others (outside of Pathway) about the complexity and self-shattering ramifications of experiencing abuse. With the permission of the group I am also able to share some of their art and tell their stories in the hope, it will raise awareness and perhaps inspire others to join our cause, or realise that they themselves can get (and are entitled to) help. Advocating for domestic abuse to be taken more seriously in society as an unspoken pandemic is something I feel extremely passionate about. Pathway is a grassroots movement: started by one woman with a dream to create services that previously didn’t exist and is a cornerstone of our community. I play but a small part in this movement and have admired the dedication and tenacity of the entire team to adapt and rise to the challenges we face. Conversely, I have also shared in the hardships and struggles of the impact of austerity on both staff and service users alike. I personally do not want to imagine what life would be like for victims of abuse (and their children) if they had no information, no refuge, no support, no legal aid, no safe space, and no escape. We may be small, but rest assured, we do everything we can with what we have to help anyone who needs us. Unfortunately, it is because we are small we cannot support everyone, but if we can’t we will give you all the information you need in the genuine hope that someone else in our network can.

If you are reading this and you need support, do not hesitate to contact us- we are here for you, even if it is simply to listen.

Lastly, to the team and our service users, remember:

“I am not what happened to me, I am what I choose to become” – Jung.

Thank you for the incredible work and the inspirational journey so far.

Over 30 years ago I was in a very abusive marriage, and couldn’t see a way out for myself and my three children. There were very few services and I felt too ashamed to talk to anyone or ask for help. That was when I became a volunteer as I set about trying to start a service myself. I think that the work I was doing strengthened me, and things at home reached a really bad point. One night I moved in with a friend and her husband and although there was a great deal of pain and worry it was the start of a new life.

I worked as a volunteer for Pathway Project, as I set up the charity, which took seven years. I set up a 24-hour helpline, with a rota of wonderful volunteers, myself included. Finally, Comic Relief funded my salary and so my full-time hours were paid, but I still did helpline shifts which were done as a volunteer. The rest as they say is history.

Volunteers have always played a really important role in Pathway. They have supported the staff in delivering a gold-standard service, and have acted as helpline support, refuge support, peer mentoring, counselling, McKenzie Friends, children’s support, and admin support. They remain so very important part of Pathway and we are so proud to have built up a family of amazing volunteers.

In 2019 I retired from my full-time job and immediately became a volunteer. I help with fundraising, training, and peer mentoring and I also run a drop-in once a week in Burntwood. I love Pathway and will always be part of it in some way. It is impossible to say how much you get back from volunteering – it gives back far more than it costs you. No one should live in fear because there is no way out. With the help of our wonderful volunteers, we aim to always offer a way out and support to build a new life.

I first became aware of Pathway through my job at the District Council and I discovered what great work they were doing in helping the victims of domestic abuse in the absence of any comparable state support. So much so that when I retired, I was keen to help support them in a more practical way and applied to become a volunteer.

I have now been a volunteer for about 5 years and I thoroughly enjoy it. I was very quickly welcomed into the team and made to feel a valued part of the organisation. I felt, and still feel, very much at home whenever I am there. Although I have little direct contact with the service users, I am aware, through the role I carry out, of the difficult lives many of them live and the decisions they have to face. The small team of permanent staff work incredibly hard and face some really challenging and heart-breaking situations but always seem to remain calm and positive. All volunteers are warmly welcomed into the team and are given all the support they need to carry out the varied roles within the service. Overall, it is a great team of people who go above and beyond to support both the service users and each other.

I started volunteering with Pathway about 4 years ago, and it was one of the best decisions I have made in a long time. I was particularly interested in supporting women, and the Lichfield volunteer office suggested Pathway. The application form and interview meant that each volunteer is valued as an individual and given a role that suits them.

My work has been to support some of the groups that Pathway run to help women who have survived domestic abuse. The groups have ranged from Life Coaching and Domestic Abuse Awareness to belly dancing and craft work! It is an absolute privilege to play a small part in the lives of women who have been through trauma and see them grow and flourish. They are an inspiration to me.

The staff at Pathway have always made me feel welcome and valued. They are a tight knit community whose total focus is on the people they support. It is always a pleasure to walk through the door and join the team!